The Department of Homeland Defense, headed by Tom Ridge has been through it's share of changes in it's first few months of existence, and this week was no different. A special task force created for the purpose of naming the new department has finally released it's recommendation to the President.

"Due to the fact that the new department will be the umbrella for many existing agencies who refuse to work together and share information amongst each other, we have decided to name it the Department of Agencies or the D.O.A for short," announced James Bishop, the head of the Special Naming Association For Unity (S.N.A.F.U.).

When asked what the President thought of the new name Tom Ridge said, "When I told him the name he was on the phone with his stock broker, but I'm pretty sure he heard me. Then I asked him when we should meet to once again discuss the scope and authority of the DOA, he asked me why I was still in his office. I'm not sure what he was hearing on the other end of that phone, but I guess it's been a bad week." When asked about the phone call, White House spokesman Ari Fleischer denied Bush owned any stocks at all. "The President didn't want to appear to have any conflicts of interest during the 2000 campaign, so he decided to sell all his stock holdings, selflessly making millions upon millions of dollars."